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Marie G-G

What I learned at Holden, #3: We all need more joy and play


Three photos: one with a large group acting silly, one with three young people standing and dancing, and one with a group of people posing at a pool table, with the heading "What I Learned at Holden: #3, We All Need More Joy and Play"

This article is #3 in a series about what I learned/relearned from a week in beautiful Holden Village in July 2024. Read the others here.


Did you know the average 4-year-old laughs 300 times a day, but the average 40-year-old laughs only 4 times?

Woman holding a framed doodle piece that says "Joy is Power"

We know laughter strengthens our immune system, boosts our moods, diminishes pain, and protects us from the damaging effects of stress. Joy and laugher are essential building blocks of radical self-care. Unfortunately, getting older can dissolve our natural ability to laugh regularly and find joy in our days.


A few weeks ago I created an art doodle for a beloved friend who’s transforming her life by reclaiming her joy. It said “Joy is power.”


As synchronicity would have it, the next week we were lucky to be in Holden Village with a trio who led workshops about bringing joy and play back into our lives: oboist, author, and podcaster Dr. Meredith Hite Estevez; artist, couple’s coach, and actor Sara McMahon; and trainer David Westerlund.


They taught us how to orient ourselves to joy through introspection, discussion, and creative exercises. Many of the exercises were expanded from improv games in McMahon’s “The Playdate Deck.” We learned it’s okay—actually good for us!—to fail, and it’s good to let go of knowing exactly what is going to happen every second of the day.


And joy is so worth it!

“Joy is a state of synchronicity of all the parts of yourself: your body, heart, mind, and spirit, your connection to yourself and others, and your connection to something larger than yourself…Joy is a feeling with all the colors in it. It can feel like bliss, but it is also deeply grounded. It includes grief and gratitude, pain and belonging. It’s got the tears of laughter and loss.” –Meredith Hite Estevez, The Artist’s Joy

Paper art of a woman in foreground and rainbow colors in back, with the words, "Joy is a feeling with all the colors in it."
Paper art by Sara McMahon, created for Meredite Hite Estevez and used with permission

When I wasn’t attending these wonderful joy workshops, I was:

  • Hosting daily singalongs

  • Playing super silly games and laughing hard with my family and community

  • Not cooking all week (and eating ice cream too)!

  • Bombing at pool and dancing to the jukebox with my kids

  • Catching up with precious friends

  • Taking art classes

  • Doodling my way through everything

  • Hiking and wandering in the wilderness

  • Gazing up at the mountains

  • Performing in and experiencing a fun talent show


All ingredients for joy!

Would you like to bring more joy into your life?

Check out Merideth Hite Estevez’ new book, The Artist’s Joy: A Guide to Getting Unstuck, Embracing Imperfection, & Loving Your Creative Life, or Sara Carmer McMahon’s “The Playdate Deck,” two-person games for building connection, playfulness, and relationship resilience. We purchased both of these and are excited to dive in to find more joy in our lives!


"The Artist's Joy" book cover and cover for The Playdate Deck

Here are some other ways to add joy and play to your life:


  • Get out of your comfort zone and try something new! Experiment with new hobbies you’ve always wanted to try. I’m taking my first improv class this fall!

  • Schedule time for play with family and friends: Make time for hobbies, game nights, sports, and social play that bring you joy!

  • Perhaps the most important one: Reorder your address book: Prioritize spending time with people who give you joy and fill up your energy battery.

  • Be creative: Pursue creative activities like painting, singing, writing, cooking, knitting, or listening to music to stimulate your mind and gain joy.

  • Meditate: Try yoga, meditation, or mindful walking that blends playfulness with relaxation.

  • Work out or dance: Hit the gym, take a dance class, or just dance around your house to your favorite music.

  • Get outside: Go hiking, cycling, or kayaking or enjoy nature through gardening or birdwatching.

  • Be social: Start or join a club or group related to hobbies you enjoy. I started a book group many years ago. We also belong to a tightknit supper club.

  • Volunteer: Engage in volunteer work that you find fulfilling and joyful.

  • Read: Dive into books that captivate and entertain you.

  • Travel: Plan trips to new destinations, whether for a weekend or longer vacation.

  • Laugh: Watch comedies, attend stand-up shows, or spend time with people who make you laugh.


Joy is not just about happiness. Grief is also part of joy. Eight years ago I discovered my rare ear tumor-like cholesteatoma had returned and I would have to have my fourth ear surgery. Devastated, I was able to recover my resilience to carry on through many of the activities above: getting active, going outside, and support from family and friends.


Joy, play, and laughter reduce stress, fight infection, and improve blood flow and disease resistance. They also improve your mood and positive outlook.

If you are in a leadership position, you can bring more joy into your employees' lives and watch productivity and employee engagement soar.


What are you waiting for? Bring more joy, laughter, and play into your life now!

Let me know if you can use help with communications, marketing, small business coaching, or leadership.


I help professional services firms and organizations avoid BORING and boost employee engagement, productivity, and readership. I translate technical, complex, and lackluster language into accessible, dynamic, story-driven text.


Fertile Ground Communications LLC is a certified woman-owned business enterprise, disadvantaged business enterprise, and emerging small business.

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